On Getting Older

Isn't it great getting older? Oh, wait ... no, it's not. Unless you really like aches and pains and getting up more often in the night to pee and taking more medicines and having all your internal systems slow down and needing more sleep but you have to get up more often in the night to pee ... I said that already. Sorry.

I find it humorous the way people don't want to offend you by pointing out your age, so they use euphemisms (if you're under 30, you might not recognize that word, since it's not very easy to send as a text message) like "50 and better."  Or usually "55 and better" since at 50 it's only the AARP that wants you think you're better than you were when you were 49.

I take that back. My wife and I did take advantage of some Mature Traveler discounts last summer when we drove up from Georgia to West Virginia to see our son. Mature Traveler - through Choice Hotels - starts at 50, and the discounts we got were worth admitting that I have made it to the next level. It was ok to be called a Mature Traveler, mainly because they didn't call me that to my face or insist on an ID to prove I was actually over 50. Born in 1957, I am not only a child OF the 50s but am IN my 50s.

They could just ask you what year you were born in, and you either reply quickly or get a very confused look on your face and start to stammer, "I should know this ...." You've seen the tobacco warnings at the grocery store by the checkout (in the one lane that lets you buy tobacco)that say, "You must have been born on or before this date in ____ year in order to purchase tobacco products." They could say, "You must have been born on or before this date in 195_ or not remember exactly what year you were born in order to take advantage of this senior moment discount." And that just gave me another scary thought: in two years, the 50 and better club will include people born in 1960! Yikes!

So I am a Mature Traveler who is 50 and Better. There are 50 and Better travel clubs, Sunday School classes, and senior center clubs, among others. I'm not technically a Senior Citizen, yet, because - I think - that milestone doesn't start until you hit 65, although it sometimes comes into play when you hit 55 as two of my older brothers have (as of 2008). They may not be senior citizens, yet, but they do belong to the Old Codger Club, the Curmudgeon Coalition and the Fraternal Order of Old Farts (FOOF).

(Is that a real organization? FOOF? I should look it up before I make fun of it!- MKZ)

Some places on the web talk about "Senior Citizens and Over 50s." Others refer to Mature Adults, Mature Workers, Senior Adults, "50Plus, 60Plus and Senior Citizens," and the very generic "Seniors." Less charitable places refer to geezers, fogies and old-timers. I don't think of myself as any of those, even though my driver's license and eyeglass prescription both expose that lie. ("Eyeglasses." That's another thing only old people refer to, as if there was a different kind of glasses you would wear on your face!)

My mind still thinks I am 26, but my body responds by saying, "Double that, mister, and you might get close!" When my mind and my body come together in one accord, then I'll think about joining AARP. Until then, I think Ill just be better than 50.

© 2008 Mike Zimmerli All Rights Reserved